From: Odhiambo T Oketch

The PNU [GNU] Agenda for Kenya; truly baffling

The Hon Chairman calls the meeting to order at 10am at KICC. Prayers are conducted by the Rev J M Musyimi.

In his prayers, he calls upon God to give them strength to continue working hard for our beloved country. He intones all the imaginary development records and showers the chairman with all praise, almost calling him the prince of peace, despite known facts of brutality against Kenyans in Mau Narok as they were being evicted and their title deeds being called pieces of paper, Mt Elgon clashes, and Mungiki long lilo infected areas.

After the prayers, the secretary is called upon to give an appraisal on the minutes of the last meeting for adoption.

He thanks the chairman for his development agenda for Kenya. He thanks him for having presided over the looting of the economy which saw projects like Anglo leasing worth almost 250 billion, being implemented in a record 8 months upon inauguration.

He marvels at the chairmans wisdom that saw him contrive an efficient way of reaching Western Kenya as fast as one would want; just consign your official limousine with the Kenya Railway, or rather, Rift Valley Railways two days earlier, and then do a dash by air to meet your car at Kisumu on the material day. In that, you look at the the state of our much improved roads from the air as you fly to Kisumu.

Mr Chairman, we really thank you for having made efficient the use of the Great Northern Corridor. Your development record is unparalleled. We realised that under your wise leadership, our roads are better than those in Eastern Congo, Chad and Somali. We are doing very well.

Mr Chairman, our last minuted records was about the accelerated pace of our own economic development. We were able to realize personal economic growth levels of close to 94% each, while that of our beloved country was at almost 6%. That could only be achieved under your wise leadership. Insider trade was at its best, and we must all thank you for maintaining business as usual style of governance. NSE was truly busy.

Mr Chairman, this brings us to the agenda of today;
a] When was Raila born and why?
b] How did Raila know about our book building initiative with KenGen?
c] How could Raila mess with our Artur project?
d] How does Raila operate?
e] Steadman and the Raila factor
f] Raila and NSE
g] Raila this, Raila that...........

We thank you Lord for enabling us to have such a wonderful meeting. We call upon you to give us all the strength to drive this country forward, so that we can achieve more unprecedented successes. Our Chairman is a mr-know-it-all and the only one alive who can make us realize such economic growth.

Under you, we must promise zero tolerance to tribalism, corruption, and a new constitution in 100 days. You are the only one who can promise that corruption will cease to be a way of life and distribute the national largess with ease.

It is only under your tight fiscal policies that we can sell blue chip state corporations at ease, court cases or not. You are the only one who can ensure our daily supply as we record personal economic growths unprecedented anywhere else in the world.

You are the alpha and the omega, the best economic student to ever have read true dynamics of self aggrandizement. God must give you another 5 years so that we can complete our looting programmes.

We know Kenyans will not accept you for another term, because your records speak for itself; tribalism, corruption, ineptitude and impunity.

Please God, why did you send your son Raila Amolo Odinga to come and liberate these wapumbavus. They were only mafi ya kuku the other day. Why did you send Raila to single handedly dismantle our Artur soap opera?

Why did you send Raila to save Kenyans from our iron grip of economic subjugation? Lord, give us only 5 more years kazi iendelee. You are denying us our dose of daily bread.

God, didn't you say that man shall eat where he works? Why have you conspired against our right inheritance?

Why do you want Raila to come in before we buy all the blue chip companies in Kenya? Those are ours by right.

Why do you send so many Kenyans to anywhere Raila goes? We had to rent a crowd when we went to Nyayo the other day, but for Raila, you gave him all the people. This is unfair God. You have taken sides.

Lord, you are biased. We promise to be more faithful to our chairman and do all that is in our power to continue with the gravy train. Make our chairman to be the all knowing, so that against all wise counsel, he can refuse to renew the contract of one Samuel Kiviutu.

This Kiviutu is hell bent on stopping our business as usual agenda. Ashindwe.

bla bla bla ............

Comment; Such was the case with the building of the Tower of Babel. The guys were so full of themselves that God had to intervene.